why that i didn’t receive any msg any phone call from you?

thousands of possibilities float in my mind

i wonder why, you didn’t contact me after the noon

are you busy?

i wish that i could just msg or call you

just like those normal couples

but i can’t

i couldn’t tell you that how much i like to get your msg

how much i wanna be with you

how much i crave for your hugs…

i wish that i could see you now…

but i can’t

i… really miss you now..

and, i met him again, during the next year year end school holiday. i was having practices for my performance in the school. he came to my school, and amazingly he could recognize me. we sat in the canteen, chat for hours, and we exchange contacts…

however, i was already no longer available for him. seriously, i have to admit that, i am a very dumb person, in love. i get very easy to fall on someone, who really treats me good.

i don’t know. does this really true? guy will always treat the girl he likes very good. but after few years, perhaps few months, or few weeks, or even worst, few days you become his girl friend, he changed.

he has his own life, he can have his friends to hang ot with, but i have to delete all my “boy” friends contacts on my phone list. and again, the dumb in my mind get activated and work out whatever nonsence he ask me to do.

and that’s why, i was so urge to get someone to care of me, even i have a boy friend, for months.

and so, another “he”, that i  should avoid, has crushed into my heart. er, shall i use “crush”? lol

it was  just a very short and wonderful dream, we just last for few months, and i throw him away like rubbish. he keep asking me why. and i just tell him that my feelings gone. cruel? well, i guess so. he won’t be my man. i know. i want a bright future. he is not my right choice. i know i am bad. but it is good for him, at least a bad girl has leave him.

and, for these few months, my boy friend really don’t know what happened to me. he was having his own great life, while i was having an affair. and at last, i come back again. he will never know about this. no one knows. and this will be my little secret, to keep inside my heart…